With the skills portion of the RPR just 17 days away, I have suddenly found myself plagued with anxiety and fear over my impending doom. The little voice inside my head is reminding me daily of unnecessary little facts that I would rather it not mention. Thoughts like, "You know you can't work without your RPR" or "So what if you graduate? If you don't have your certification, what good will it do you?" My personal favorite is "If you fail, you won't even be able to try again until May". So as you can see by the little voices in my head, I have come down with a nasty case of test nerves. I will admit, I have already shed a few tears; I have laid on the couch contemplating my future career, wondering if I am actually going to be able to do this. I have even been tempted to toss my machine out the window (of course anyone who has done court reporting knows that the desire to toss your machine out the window comes around just about as regularly as the 20% off coupons from Bed Bath and Beyond). But I can no longer crawl under the covers and pretend the RPR isn't just around the corner. I must buck up, get back on my machine and suck it up. No time to waste. Whether or not I pass or fail, I only have 17 more days to prepare for my fate. So, alas, I take the advice of my dear, sweet, yet slightly quirky instructor, and tape a post-it note to my desk that says, "I write 225!" Her unwavering belief in the power of positive thinking is constantly being hammered into our heads. If only I could learn to believe in myself ALL the time, not just every now and then. So today I detox myself (yet again) off all the negative thoughts that plague my mind. I will solemnly vow to discontinue use of words like can't, won't, and hopefully, as they will only initiate the the vicious cycle of negativity and self-doubt yet again. So as I practice, I will look at my post-it note. I will remind myself that I too can write 225! I will believe it, and I will do it on November 7!
