Failure will never overtake me...

if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
Og Mandino

I have finally crawled out of the deep dark hole of self-pity that I have been wallowing in for the past week, and I am finally ready to announce (ever so sadly, I might add) that there was no good news regarding my latest attempt at the RPR. I’ve wallowed, made my emotional “shoe” purchase to combat my depression, and now I’m ready to pick myself up off the floor and move forward…again! I must admit, this was the first time I actually felt plagued with a bit of self-doubt. Enough so, that for the first time I seriously started to question whether or not I could actually do this. Thankfully, a divine intervention of sorts arrived at this precise moment. When I forgot to send my usual Friday morning email to my favorite CR firm about my weekly intern hours, they contacted me to schedule a depo. Although that is a little unusual, I was secretly relieved. Interning is great for a motivation boost. With elements ranging from strippers to hit and runs, this week's deposition certainly did not disappoint. It felt a bit more like an episode from a bad soap than a depo. As entertaining as it was, it was also a great reminder of why I really love and want to do this. The same day I also received a call, out of the blue, from a CR friend who gave me a healthy dose of encouragement and mini-pep talk. I definitely needed it. So, I am now ready to turn the page, move forward, and pick myself up off the floor for the 18,746th time and will try, try again.

Ten Random Things I’ve Learned During Court Reporting School:

1. The admissions department flat out lies when it comes to telling students how long it will take to get through school.

2. They strategically overlook the 95% failure rate too. (But in their defense, I probably would have never enrolled had I known that little tidbit of info.)

3. I will never again have long nails.

4. A caffeine addiction is essential to a healthy work – school balance. It is widely rumored that Starbucks is now listed as my emergency contact at work.

5. Taking care of my body with regular massages and exercise is time and money well spent. Never underestimate the value of good hand and finger exercises either.

6. Never head to a depo without an extension cord, cough drops, energy bar, and some extra cash (for that rare occasion when a law firm doesn’t validate). You never know when you might need one of these valuable items. Trust me…mooching money off a court reporter you are interning with so you can get out of the parking garage is the last thing you want to have to do (hypothetically speaking, of course).

7. You can meet a fellow court reporter or student and be instant friends in 2.5 seconds flat.

8. Anytime someone finds out you’re a court reporter the response will ALWAYS be the same…”Oh, so you are the person that types on that funny little machine.” This is usually followed up with “so you must type really fast.” If only I had a dollar for every time I heard that.

9. Two things: You can’t trust spell check! Attitude is everything!

10. Court reporting school is probably the single most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life, but it is also the one thing that has shown me just how strong, disciplined, determined, and successful I can really be.

Ciao, baby

Thanks to my new pals at JM Steno, I sold my old Stentura 200SRT student writer yesterday. I decided there was no point in keeping it around to merely collect dust, and the idea of making some cold, hard cash wasn’t totally unappealing either. Since I recently upgraded to my very first professional writer, the super smooth Diamante, I decided it was time to purge. Of course, I must admit that although my sassy little student writer had definitely seen better days, I still had a fond attachment to her and was slightly sad to see her go. After all, I have worked that little puppy to death these last couple of years, and I feel a little bad leaving her behind just as I’m on the verge of ending my journey through school, the same journey that we embarked upon together. Plus, she was my first “extra-limb.” You only have one first, you know.
I often joke, you see, that my machine is my “extra limb” because I sometimes feel that wherever I go, my machine is sure to follow. That little writer has simultaneously become my best friend, yet my worst enemy. It is my ticket to a future, yet it is that total pain in my butt that always gets in the way of a really carefree social life and it torments me daily when it comes to my battle to beat 225. Then, of course, there is the classic student – guilt complex. If I’m not using my machine, I am most certainly feeling guilty about not doing so. It consumes a huge part of my life. It is waiting for me when I come home from work. It is with me when I watch TV. I swear I even catch it glaring at me as I drift off to sleep all the while saying, “PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!” Yep, it is still there when I wake up. It is nearby when I sip my morning cup of Joe. Heck, that little thing has even accrued frequent flyer miles as it has travelled with me to places like California, Arizona, and Michigan. It’s as if it is ALWAYS present, quietly reciting the mantra, “PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!” Hence, the feeling that she is indeed an extra limb, and another crucial part to my existence.
Sadly, though, she has run her course. I bid ado to my little ol’ trusty student writer and say a fond farewell. Please know it’s not you, it’s me.


R.I.P. my little sassy stentura

Words

I recently stumbled across an article (click here to see it) about a captioner who covered the horrors of 9-11. As I read it, I was reminded of just how necessary and vital a captioner’s role is in providing assistance to those with a hearing impairment. Can you imagine turning on the t.v. and watching those horrific events being played out, yet having no words to accompany it? Although to some it may only seem like little words running across the screen, to others it is those very words that help to keep them connected to the world that moves silently around them. Hellen Keller put it best… “I am just as deaf as I am blind. The problems of deafness are deeper and more complex, if not more important than those of blindness. Deafness is a much worse misfortune. For it means the loss of the most vital stimulus-- the sound of the voice that brings language, sets thoughts astir, and keeps us in the intellectual company of man. Blindness separates us from things, but deafness separates us from people.”
I say kudos to captioners everywhere. For with every little word you write you are helping bridge the gap that rests between the world of silence and that of sound, one that so many of us take for granted.

And the winner is.....(drumroll)

Yep! My new machine is officially on order. After prolonged indecisiveness and contemplation, I have FINALLY made a decision. I have parted with the $5,500 necessary to call this puppy my own, and now the writer is currently being built. I should have it in about three weeks. Sianara my little Stentura friend; this cookie is moving on up to a big girl's machine. Although I AM sad to say goodbye to my faithful SRT200, it's time to move on.

Hello to my sassy, I just passed SH230 shoes!!!!

Success

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

I am celebrating the end of yet another semester. What, you ask, is so different about this one? Well, let me tell you. I find myself at the very point I have so longed to be at. Finally, success and the future is on the horizon. My goal for the end of this semester was to pass my exit level speed tests for both Lit and Jury. My reward to self was going to be a new pair of deliciously sassy shoes. After all, what makes you feel more fantastic than a great pair of shoes. Anyone in court reporting knows the only way to reach success is by completely failing tests time and time again, until that one magical moment comes along when it all of the sudden it just clicks. It is as if your mind and your fingers suddenly decide to cooperate with one another, and the result is pure magic...I mean a test pass. I am happy to report that this semester I successfully reached my goal and them some. Hence, celebrating must commence. In addition to these test passes, I also (completely out of the blue) passed all my 200 QAs, as well. I was completely shocked and obviously ecstatic about this accomplishment. So I find myself at the end of this semester officially at 225. I am also officially registered and preparing for the upcoming RPR in October and November, and the only things standing in my way of graduation are passing my 225s, finishing my internship hours, and one more academic class. Let the shoe shopping begin!

ACRA Conference

The Arizona Court Reporters Association held their annual conference in Tucson, AZ over the weekend and so I decided to drive to Tucson and participate. After all, what better way to spend my Saturday than with a room full of perfectionistic, Type A personalities. It was fantastic! I woke up bright and early and hit the road around 6 am. I totally forgot how much I loved the drive between Phoenix and Tucson. (Okay, to be honest, I never remember finding it that exciting. However, for some reason, this time I totally enjoyed it.) I am certain it is due to my long, 7 year absence from my beloved desert.


A picture of Picacho Peak which is about half way between Phoenix and Tucson.

I arrived right on time at the Hilton El Conquistador which was where the conference was being held.
It was nice...your typical desert-oasis type resort surrounded by mountains. (Sorry no pics.) The conference was fantastic and I learned some helpful things, made some excellent contacts, and was able to check out some of the latest writers. I was hoping that by checking out the machines in person, I would be able to narrow down my search, and finally be able to make a decision on which one I want to purchase. Some things never change though....I still can't decide. I think I have narrowed it a bit, so I'm making progress. All-in-all, it was a great way to spend my weekend. I've just been completely exhausted ever since. And now to start another week....

I see a shadow

Sandra Day O'Connor United States Courthouse
Phoenix, AZ

As I prepare for my upcoming trip home to Arizona, I have also been busy taking care of some preparations related to school. Things such as scheduling my 160 mentor tests, a requirement to advance to the very last steno class requirement, as well as set up some face time with my mentor back in AZ while I am home. My AZ mentor, who is an official reporter for the Federal Courthouse in Phoenix, has graciously agreed to let me shadow her while I am home. I am extremely excited. This will be my virgin voyage into the long-awaited internship hours, and I can hardly wait to experience life in the courthouse.

Favorite Briefs and Phrases

On a recent discussion board for school, we were chatting regarding our favorite briefs and phrases. Briefs and phrases are basically one strokers that can save you tons of time (which in steno translates into a mere second or two) and in turn can mean the difference of a test pass or not. This discussion prompted me think about which ones I use regularly and how much I love them. So here is a brief list of a few of my favs, some of which I use constantly, and some I use only occasionally, yet I still love all the same.

WEM - welcome

T*U - thank you

T*UFP - thank you very much

PRAOS - produce

BLAOP - blood pressure

FAO*EUB - FBI

SWAIGZ - situation

KP*URD - accident occurred

SK*ERD - asked and answered

KLAURMTS - closing arguments

PRAUZ - proximate cause

B*UMS - being duly impaneled and sworn

Now that I am just getting going, I could go on and on and on...however I will spare you the steno speak.

Can it really be?

Well apparently yes, it is so. I PASSED MY 180 Q&A!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot even begin to express how excited I am about this accomplishment. I feel like I have been working on this forever. But the good news doesn't stop there. In the very same email I also received notice that I passed my very first exit level speed test, a 200 Jury. This one actually brought tears to my eyes. I can't believe that small light at the very end of the tunnel is now starting to become visible. I have to say, that special emergency day really paid off. What a way to start back to the grind after spring break! I am totally and inexplicably excited.

A reason to celebrate

Although I had to wait three weeks to hear back regarding two 180 QA tests I felt really good about, and although I was hoping I had passed both, I am still thrilled to announce that I did pass one of them with a 96.1% accuracy. It's about freaking time!!!!! The second one I was hoping to pass was close as ever though with a 94.3%. This is the second time I have been painfully close. Anything less than a percentage point makes you want to scream. All the same, I'm celebrating my test pass. QAs seem to be my demon, and so I'm thankful that I'm one down. One more to go and I can start my internship hours! Woo-hoo.

The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground.

Some days  I sit down at my machine, and it is as if I am touching a completely foreign object. My fingers are slipping onto the wrong keys, I'm dropping way too many words, my mind is swirling from a lack of concentration, and my body aches that tired, weary ache that comes from too much time sitting in front of a computer. It is on days like this that I feel as if everything I ever learned and practiced has fluttered completely out of my mind and continued right on out the window. I find myself left wondering, how did I possibly end up in this weird, endless land of 180 limbo? Will I ever escape it? Alas, I know I will, but not without a little much needed encouragement. So I dial a c.r. friend, they let me be weary, emotional, and discouraged. After receiving a much needed pep talk, I get back on my machine, for I will never succeed without standing my ground, and mastering my machine. Sometimes success is merely the determination to keep going.

 

This little cycle is nothing new. It happens quite routinely. It really is just part of the process, and it reminds me of how funny court reporting really is, and what an unusual little circle you become part of. One thing I have discovered since I began this journey a little over 3 years ago, is that this is most definitely a career with a lot of heart. C.R.s truly understand how utterly discouraging this program can be at times, and anyone remotely related to this profession is always so wonderful at encouraging you during those ultra low moments (which sometimes seems more often than not). They are pretty much the only ones that truly understand how you feel and what you are going through. Because of that, they always know just what to say to pick you back up off the floor, dust off the dirt off your back, and get you back on your machine. The words that are shared are always heart felt, sincere, and full of a deep appreciation for the amount of hard work and dedication that this requires. There belief and support in you sometimes outweighs the belief you have in yourself. They still, somehow, always remind you that with positive thinking (negativity is absolutely NOT an option), determination, and perseverance, you CAN and WILL succeed. I feel truly blessed to have discovered this little world, and even though sometimes I feel as if I'm still just a little nut, I know that in time, I will be the big, strong tree.

You must do the things you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Test Pass!!!!!

Unless you are a court reporter or a court reporting student, you cannot fully appreciate all the blood, sweat and tears that goes into this program. So when you actually pass tests, it is most definitely a reason to celebrate. That being said, I heard back from my instructor that I passed both my 180 Jurys. Let me hear a big woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!! That means I am now working on  exit level speeds for Literary and Jury. Can that really be?! I'm thrilled! Maybe I WILL actually make it through this program after all. Now, if I can just bump up that Q&A to 225. 

So close, yet so far away

In class this evening we reviewed all the requirements for graduation. It was exciting to think that I have actually made it to the point where it almost feels like the end is in sight. Just discussing completion requirements made me feel like I was on the verge of being dangerously close yet, somehow it still seems so far away. Just because we are discussing exit level speed tests and internships doesn't mean I am at the finish line. I still have a daunting 9 tests standing between me and 225. Nonetheless, it was still strangely inspiring and motivating, which is something I most definitely need at this very moment. 

I am encouraged by the words of Harriet Beacher Stowe.

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you,

till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer

never give up then,

for that is just the time and place that the tide will turn.